Cricketer Praveen Kumar opens up on suicide attempt

Former Indian cricket team pacer Praveen Kumar, in an exclusive interview with a news agency, spoke in detail about his depression following his exit from the Indian team and his subsequent suicide attempt.

The career of Praveen Kumar, who has played 68 ODIs, 6 Tests, 10 T20Is for India, ended abruptly when he suffered from dengue in 2011. After his replacement in the team was found, the fast bowler confessed how miserable he would feel every time his name came up on the headlines, which would be over one of the fights he picked up as a result of his alcoholism, and not related to his cricketing career.

Praveen Kumar reportedly stated, “I told myself, ‘Kya hai yeh sab? Bas khatam karte hain (What’s all this? Let me just end it)’. I realized I can’t do this to my phool-jaise bachche (innocent children), put them through this hell. I turned back. India mein depression concept hee kahan hota hai (Who understands depression in India)? Nobody knows about it and in Meerut, certainly not. I had no one to talk to, felt almost constant chid-chidapan (irritation). As a fast bowler, I had to do a lot of thinking (to out-smart batsmen). I told the counsellor I was unable to switch off thoughts.”

“I had been bowling so well. In England, everybody praised me. I was dreaming about a Test career. Suddenly, gaya sab kuchch (it was all gone). I got the feeling everybody thought PK was retired, not free. Does no one know the Uttar Pradesh Ranji team doesn’t have a bowling coach? I should be with the team and not be sitting here in Meerut. I used to fear myself a few months ago, apne aap sey darr tha. That’s what bad time does. If someone didn’t answer my call, I would feel terrible, neglected. It killed me inside. Thankfully, that dark phase is behind me. Koi nahin, PK phir waapis aayega (Don’t worry, PK will come back),” he further added.