I didn’t feel like living anymore: Deepika Padukone on battling depression

Bollywood actress Deepika Padukone, during her appearance on Amitabh Bachchan’s TV quiz show Kaun Banega Crorepati 13, opened up about her battle with depression in 2014 and how she lost the will to live back then.

Deepika Padukone participated in the TV show along with Bollywood director Farah Khan. Speaking to Amitabh Bachchan regarding her condition, she said, “I was diagnosed with depression in 2014. I used to feel weird that people don’t talk about it. It was a stigma and people don’t even know much about it. During that time, I realised that if I am experiencing this, then there would be many people out there facing depression as well. My ambition in life was that if I could save just one life, then my purpose was solved. We have come a long way now.”

Deepika has been an open advocate for mental health awareness for years and she also started the ‘Live Love Laugh’ foundation, which aims at helping people battling mental health issues. When Amitabh Bachchan asked her how she realized she was suffering from depression, the actress said, “I used to get a very weird feeling, like there was an emptiness inside me. I didn’t feel like going to work or meeting anybody. I did not want to go out. I didn’t feel like doing anything. Many times, I don’t know if I should say this but I didn’t feel like living anymore. I felt like I had no purpose.”

She added that her mother found her crying one of those days and felt that it was not the way she usually cried. Deepika further specified, “The way I was crying, it was like a cry for help. She (her mother) asked me to visit a psychiatrist. I did that and recovered after many months. But mental health is something that you can’t forget about even after you recover. It is something you have to take care of. I have introduced some lifestyle changes now.”

Responsibility to Deepika’s ordeal, the show’s host Amitabh Bachchan said, “We pray that you never experience anything like this ever again. By sharing your personal story with everyone, you have inspired others who might be going through something like this.”