Are you one of those people who still go for movies in the theatre despite Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Tamil Rockers? Then you will probably relate to all the types of people below. This is just a script. You would have seen all this in action.

The hooters

You must have seen these people who shout for every scene. It will begin with the title and will continue till the end credits. There are several voice modulations also in hooting. Each scene will inspire a different tone. Good luck hearing the dialogues if you’re sitting next to them. 

The commentators

This bunch is super talented. Honestly, they’ve made the worst films bearable. Their comic timing is unbeatable. This especially shows itself in horror movies. You’ll be hiding behind the popcorn watching some idiot go the darkest scariest place in the house, and that’s when they’ll attack. Not the ghost, the commentators. Once I heard one respond to the character in a horror movie asking, ‘Is anyone there?’ by saying ‘Yes yes we are all here.’ 

The noisy neighbours

The worst movie experience is with them. At least the hooters are watching and responding to the film. But the noisy people don’t do that. They talk on the phone, they talk among themselves, sometimes they even talk alone if no one else is there. And it is so distracting, you just can’t watch the movie in peace. 

The emotional ekambarams

I’ll admit it. This is my category. If it’s a happy scene you’ll see this person crying happy tears. And god forbid it’s a sad scene because these individuals will cry more than the actors themselves. No film is beyond their epic reactions. You go for Ratsasan with them, they’ll be looking like Christopher gave them the gift. These drama queens/kings really steal the show. 

The unofficial cameramen AKA status lovers

These people can be quite a pain. They reshoot the same film which the cinematographer has taken with so much difficulty. The cinematographer will go to some 10 foreign locations and shoot the film. But these unofficial cameramen will take the whole film from that one seat in different different angles. All just for that status. 

The sleepers

You may have seen this category. They come. They sit. They sleep. It doesn’t matter what the movie is, they’ll nicely sleep off. Sometimes I envy them though. Looks like the education system has trained them very well to sleep despite disturbances. 

The popcorn addicts

In any list of cinema audience, there is one category that cannot be left out. I’m sure movie-goers in Chennai can relate to this one. More than the film, they will be very involved in putting heaps of powder in their popcorn. They’re not going to leave the powder counter before mixing all the 3 powders well and ensuring that every morsel is nicely coated, whether the film is on or not. If you see some people roaming around with a lot of tissues and popcorn, you have spotted them. 

The latecomers

Last but not least. They’ll come late. Switch on the torch, step on all our feet and cause as much disturbance as possible. And the worst part is they make a timed arrival which will coincide with the hero’s entry. So, of course, we have to jump on the seat and somehow see Thala or Thalapathy on screen. 

What to do? To watch one film at the theatre we have to deal with alllll this. Irundhalum namma ooru theatre maari vera engayavadhu varuma? :) (For the people who are yet to learn Tamil - Still, will we get a theatre like ours anywhere else? :) )