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Chinmayi reveals shocking sexual abuse from childhood to adulthood

Saturday, October 6, 2018 • Tamil Comments
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Chinmayi reveals shocking sexual abuse from childhood to adulthood

Singer Chinmayi who is also a prominent dubbing artiste and a businesswoman is known for taking up the fight for women rights and she has been the lone voice against sexual harassment and abuse over the years. In a shocking revelation Chinmayi has listed the number of times men (some of them so called religious heads and respected in their fields of work) have taken advantage of her as a child and an innocent adult.

Chinmayi in a long social media starts "It is very, very tough for women to remember accounts of when they were touched inappropriately; a ‘harmless’ hug that looks OK but makes them alone cringe. I was 8, maybe 9. I was sleeping. My mom was supervising a recording session for her documentary. Felt a man in priestly robes feel up my privates and I woke up. Told her ‘that uncle is bad’. This was in the studio called Santhome Communications that still exists. Maybe I was 10/11, December Music Festival, ‘respectable mama’ whose name I dont remember kept pinching my thigh throughout a concert. I heard more gross stories of Sabha secretaries. In retrospect, a lot of children weren’t safe around some adults.To some men checking my shirt pocket to see if I had anything in them, thereby feeling my chest in my teens, having my first mobike accident that left my entire right arm scarred because of an eve teasing incident on Kilpauk bridge, a lot of us women learned to internalize. I was perhaps 19; again, veryyyyyy respected, wayy older man called me to his office on a pretext, my mom was with me, I was called in alone; we suspected nothing coz said man showed no such behaviour before,walked from behind his table, hugged me and felt me up. I remember leaving one of my footwear behind, hurriedly saying ‘Bye Sir’ and running for my life, shaking all the while. Told my mom - she said this is some elder men’s way to test to see if you are ‘that type of a girl’. It was how ‘elders’ behaved in their wisdom, apparently.Mom and I drove home. ‘RespectedMan’ never repeated his behaviour but I’ll never forget feeling as if worms were crawling all over me; how I, a sane, ‘intelligent’ girl had dismissed that predatory behaviour for ‘Thats how it is’. We internalize. But we cant forget.

Chinmayi reflects on how tough it is for the fairer gender "A woman speaking up *and* naming the man has a consequence of slut shaming, ‘what did you do that he behaved like that?’, beingn discredited, being called unprofessional and also losing work/career. A risk women cant take. And that has enabled the men. No longer.

In another encounter Chinmayi has revealed an even more shocking behaviour from a famous celebrity "Respected Man’ once raged and raged when I refused to do his bidding in a professional setting due to a prior commitment. Threatened political trouble from ‘Higher ups’. I was shaking. Thought the end is near. It left me in tears. But I did find my gut which had gone for a walk, picked up the phone, called his manager, clenched my teeth and told him to tell Respected Man to keep his politics to himself and keep me away from it. I filed the first case ever that led to arrests (it is not an achievement) after online harassment and threats to disrupt concerts/public events for over 3 years. Mom and I begged them to leave me alone. But I faced more bile and hate from Twitter for the case.

But her brave deed found no appreciation in the society and what is more nauseating is even women did not support Chinmayi as she herself says " Two popular women writers and activists said ‘A woman who sings Mayya Mayya cannot file case on harassment’. More men and other women cheered these women on. This was in support of men who said they ll throw acid on my face or that I need to be raped to be taught a lesson. I asked again and again and again for support; 2, maybe 3 gentlemen spoke up; promptly hushed by the same men with questions like ‘Are you sleeping with her?’. No one wants to go file a case and fight it in our overburdened courts if only society would do the right thing.

Things became ugly as politics came into Chinmayi's attempt to the right thing and she explains "The backlash to my filing the case - ‘Chinmayi says fishermen can be killed because she is a vegetarian’ - a rumour that was shared again and again. The now outed predator Mahesh Murthy was an avid supporter to these harassers coz I had called out a false article by him then.

Fans of movie reviewers would be in for a huge shock on this one as Chinmayi names a popular figure in the field who harassed her " One of the successful ‘Youtube’ reviewers now - Prashanth offered to ‘support’ me and immediately launched into, ‘Dont worry sweetheart/darling I will Support you.’ Made me cringe; I deleted the DMs & said ‘Dont call me sweetheart’. He launched into a hate campaign right after. He called me an oppressor to whatnot; things that people believed then. I was the sole voice against 100s of men raging that I had called out a man who threatened to rape me. An actor’s PRO’s wife posted that they are filing a case of ‘Oppression’ against me. I’d rather not be called ‘Brave’. I’d rather NOT have to come face to face with predators. I’d rather NOT be harassed. But no. Those weren’t my choices to make, were they?

Chinmayi is right in asking ‘Why do YOU alone get into trouble’ is a question I have had to answer a lot of times. I speak up. Others are too scared to speak up. That’s all there is. Women are told to not attract attention. Anything girls do is chided with ‘whose attention do you want?!’ Some men are bullies; they need to assault in a way to assert their manhood. Other men are forced to enable bullies / predators for fear of being called a wimp or a wuss. They’d rather be silent. When Mahesh Murthy got outed years after this incident I felt God was watching.

Chinmayi warns that these type of predators exist everywhere "Medicine, education, law, art, religion, journalism.. Even family - not one arena where there aren’t predators.For each one of them I hope. As for the priest from Santhome Communications, I’m sure he is preaching religion somewhere to more kids and their parents.Women *know* when a man touches them inappropriately. Hugging one man doesn’t mean it is an invitation. Wearing nail polish isnt an invitation. And yes we also know #NoTAllMen (Do NOT respond to this thread with ‘What about fake cases?’. No. Not now. Now, you just listen/read)

The "Kadhalae Kadhalae" singer explains "There’s a marked difference between a sexual predator, coercion tactics & a man hitting on someone with the intention dating / wanting to get to know a girl he likes, however awkward, unpolished it may be. Does he stop when you say NO however ‘weak’? There lies the difference. I am having some messages shared and the names will be blocked out. I can imagine how traumatic it can be. If you want to share your story anonymously please slide into my DMs. Girl asks him how his wife is; he responds saying ‘you re my long time love, dont mistake me’

Chinmayi is so different from other celebrities as she has not simply taken these harassments lying down and has decided to do something about them by starting a conversation on twitter. Many women have made their own revelations on her thread and some have even leveled allegations with proof on the said youtube video reviewer. Hope this injustic against women stops and the future is made much safer for the girl child.

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