Irrfan Khan, who passed away a year ago, was one of the most revered actors of Bollywood. His death left a permanent void in the industry as his family, friends, and fans across the country are still reeling from the loss.

Irrfan's son Babil, who is struggling to cope with the pain of losing his father, recently revealed that he went into deep depression a couple of days after Irrfan's death on April 29 last year. Babil talked about the dark days in detail in an interview with a news agency. For the first few days, mom was like how is it that he is taking it so well? I was running around, doing everything, making sure everything was fine at home and at the hospital. It was really bad, though. I can't explain the amount of pain he (Irrfan Khan) was going through when he was conscious. I particularly remember when they were going to put a catheter, and asked me to leave the room, and he almost yelled, 'Babil, tum kahin mat jao mujhe chhod ke!' (Babil, don't leave me and go anywhere). They pulled me out of the room and he screamed my name. I never felt that much pain and helplessness. I just stood there outside, hearing him scream my name, he was quoted as saying.

Explaining that he lost the will to live and started having suicidal thoughts, Babil added, I dealt with it well in that moment, but after he passed – initially, Mumma was surprised how well I was taking it – but two days after he passed away, I crashed. I just crashed. Everything shut off. I went into deep, deep depression. I can't even explain. There was no will to wake up. I was very suicidal. I was done. I didn't have any will to live. I still struggle with it a lot. And at that time, Mumma was the strength. She has always been the strength of our family. Throughout Baba's career. You know everyone's like Baba was this, Baba was that – but Baba wouldn't have been anything without Mumma, she's been the strength of the family. Irrfan Khan died of cancer at the age of 53 in Mumbai's Kokilaben Hospital.