Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee recently announced his budget which made some happy some sad.

Anyways, Bollywood didn’t had very much to cheer as usual so in order to set an example veteran yesteryears hit and today’s flop producer-director Gul Kapoor decided to make the budget of his forthcoming ultra sex comedy ‘Jawani Ki Kahani Sheela Munni Ki Jubani’ – The Journey Of Being Badnam’. We caught up with the producer in Chandivali where Gul Kapoor looked busy jotting down things in a note-book.

Here we bring the exclusive chat with the producer

You seem to be quite busy

“Yeah, I am busy,” said Gul Kapoor while keeping his eyes on the note book.

You appear to be seriously busy

“Yeah, making the budget is a serious matter.”

Budget season, after Pranab Mukherjee it’s your turn

“I am not a financial expert like Pranab Saab, but I can point out a serious mistake in his budget.”

What’s the mistake?

“There are lots of leaks in the expenditure and wastages in various schemes of the Government. Pranab has not pointed out how to plug the leaks.”

Hmmmmm

“The Government thinks that they have done their job by just announcing the schemes and throwing away the money.”

You have a point, but what can you do about it?

“I can’t to do anything about it. But I can avoid the wastages in the expenditure on my film.”

It’s a hard task, but you can try

“We are wasting lots of money going around the world looking for picturesque backdrops for the film, but it does not work at the box-office. People go for movies to look at the performances of actors and actresses. They don’t go to look at the pyramids of Egypt or the ruins of Roman palaces. There is no point in wasting money for such jaunts.”

You seem to be serious and you have a point

“I will shoot my film in Film City and Vasai, and I won’t go beyond Khandala or Lonavala for the sake of picturesque backdrops.”

Sounds like a wise decision

“I am not going to blow a fortune on junior artistes and dancers. There is a trend to gather all these white girls as dancers. Audiences are not coming to look at these white girls. They are coming to look at Kareena Kapoor or Katrina Kaif or whoever else is the heroine. Then what is the point in spending lakhs of rupees on these junior artistes and dancers”

There is no point

“We have been spending fortunes on the dresses of actors.”

Yeah its big money stars pushing their favourite designers. And the designers posing as great creative artists and charging lakhs of rupees for ordinary dresses

“I am going to stop it. I will ask my tailor to make all the dresses.”

It’s a great idea

“We have been wasting lots of money on music also. These so called composers take crores of rupees and fail to produce hit music.”

What is the solution?

“I have got my own bank of tunes, I don’t claim to be a composer. I have collected scores of hit tunes, Indian classical based, Western classical based, folk, rock and hip hop etc. I will get a musician to mix them up and create my songs.”

You have got the idea. When you are inspired by one tune, it is plagiarisation. When you mix several tunes, it is creativity. But what about lyrics

“Who write lyrics these days? Do you call Sheila ki jawani and Munni bandnam hui lyrics? What used to be the dummy words of the composers in old times are now being passed off as lyrics. The musician can do it or I can do it.”

You have got plans of saving lots of money

“My production cost won’t go beyond 10 crore rupees”

Then you can make 2 films in 20 crores

“No man, the film will cost at least 50 crores. I will have to pay the star 40 crores.”

Why do you pay the star 40 crores when you are cutting cost everywhere?

“How do I get those 10 crores to make that film without a saleable star?”

Oh dear you are back to square one

“Bollywood and its business.” Throws his note book and orders single malt whiskey for the night.