He found it very hard to play the child-abusing uncle in "Monsoon Wedding". But actor-turned-filmmaker Rajat Kapoor still managed a very fine performance.

"I was so scared to play that role. When I saw myself I was petrified. I said, 'What have I done!' I did it because of Naseeruddin Shah and (director) Mira Nair who insisted that I do it," Kapoor told IANS.

He is upbeat right now, with his directorial debut "Raghu Romeo" having been released Friday.

"I don't know how well the film will be liked. It's a small release... about eight prints for Mumbai, Ahmedabad and Pune and just two prints for Delhi."

Kapoor's unhappiness with Bollywood's way of functioning is manifested in "Raghu Romeo" where the characters are rendered dysfunctional by the conventional formulas of Hindi cinema.

"I'm not really disgusted with commercial cinema or popular television. 'Raghu Romeo' is inspired by a quote I read from Graham Greene many years ago. He was in a hospital and in the next bed a little boy died. The mother was stricken with pain. But all she was articulating in her grief were lines from cheap soap operas. Graham Greene's anecdote was with me for 10 years. That was the triggering point for 'Raghu Romeo'.

"I wrote it in 2000... I feel popular cinema and television have become distanced from reality. We're surrounded by make-believe images."

The film has been produced by the National Film Development Corporation (NFDC), Jeetendra Sethi and Rajat Kapoor.

"I've been saving money for the last four years to make 'Raghu Romeo'. Fortunately, my acting career allows me to make some money. I managed to save almost Rs.1.3 million-1.4 million."

Naseeruddin Shah is a close friend.

"I remember I had gone visiting his office. He asked me if I was getting sufficient finances to make 'Raghu Romeo' and then gave me Rs.500,000 on the spot. I was so touched."

Talking of the cast, his face lights up. "I had written the protagonist's role for a friend, Vinay Pathak, who was a Channel V veejay. Then while I was working with Vijay Raaz in 'Monsoon Wedding', I began to change my mind.

"There's one scene (in 'Monsoon Wedding') where his character returns home and slowly takes off his clothes. When I saw that sequence I told my wife, 'This is Raghu'.

"I told him whenever I make the film, he's on. After 'Monsoon Wedding' I started getting panic attacks. Would he able to do it? The image of his character in 'Monsoon Wedding' had become so strong in the audiences' mind. But now I can't see anyone doing so much justice to Raghu's character."

Speaking of an incessant flow of songs in the film, Kapoor explains that the protagonist is a product of pop culture.

"Raghu remains a victim of MTV culture. During a play I was doing I heard a backstage boy singing a song by the rapper Shaggy without knowing the words. He had made it into Marathi!

"That's the kind of cross-pollination that's affected our culture. That's the trap Raghu falls into... baseball cap worn backwards and all."

Kapoor is sure "Raghu Romeo" will find its audience.

"When I made the film I saw it as a small endeavor that may not even get released. But the film has grown in stature. It was received with great warmth in India and abroad."

The 'multiplex' phenomenon will help the film.

"Some of these multiplex products are giving the small film a bad name. It's become like the 'India Shining' campaign. All rubbish. But let's look at the brighter side, at least 'Raghu Romeo' gets released because of the multiplexes. But at the end of the day it'll have to compete with 'Lakshya'.

"I'm under no illusion about 'Raghu Romeo'. I'm hoping that by word of mouth it will become popular. If it doesn't, at least too much money wasn't spent on making too many prints.

"But I'm very excited. I get very positive energy coming from the audience. I feel nothing can go wrong. I'm flying... I'm not tense at all."

Next Kapoor is making "Mithya" this year, provided he gets the Rs.15 million it needs. "It's about a very bad actor who wants to make it in Bollywood. Guess who plays the lead? Vijay Raaz, of course!"